How does one overcome anger and hatred?

It’s all very well to talk about love and its healing power. Infact I and everybody else at intentblog do that all the time.And we really mean it-well i certainly do :-)

I reiterate it over and over again not only to myself but to everyone I am blessed to share my life with. I talk about love and forgiveness and miracles & magic & I sincerely believe in all of it too.
I get 100’s of letters and emails from perfect strangers telling me how my words and actions have brought about a happy change in their life and thinking. It scares me. Puts too much pressure on me especially on days when I want to feel weak and vulnerable and so badly need a shoulder to cry on. I just want to be a cry baby!
I want to yell, abuse, slap people, and tell a few others to go to hell where they belong.
I also want to be extremely self indulgent/obsessed, belligerant and rabidly aggressive.

ok ok- thats a bit strong for me but what the hell. Allow me.

So ok -We all know that love is the cure for all maladies. At most times in my life I exercise this philosophy with great efficiency and things around me move smoothly and my world turns into a happy place.

But there are other days when I am filled with so much anger and hatred and frustration and resentment it scares me. I wonder about the force which brings it on.

I recognize that it’s most often emotional triggers from people or events in my life – (i recognize them very clearly)
and my inability to will it away and eliminate it all together from my life.
It angers me-the gulit and despair i feel about all this hatred and rage that i feel-but still i cant make it go away

Some other times I’m not even sure of the triggers.

PMS times don’t count-on those days every woman is allowed her unpleasantries.

I discuss it with my friends and colleagues often-some of them recommend an hour long cry(minimum) but that does not cut it.

We all agree it will pass but how does one get through these moments?

Distance from upsetting stimuli does not take it away.

Analysing and coming to terms with our frustrations and shortcomings dosent help either

No amount of creative activity, painting , writing, reading, praying, partying,meditating, philosophysing, positive thinking, jogging on the beach or 100 kisses from my daughter seems to take it away.
The monster keeps wrenching at the heart and tearing it apart.

& i wonder
What makes one kind of emotion beneficial & the other detrimental? Who's to decide?
Emotion is emotion-what makes it good or bad? Is every emotion not equally valid?

Does everybody feel this way sometimes?

So what does one do at times like this?
Besides blogging of course…:-)

Ohmygawd! Does anybody have an answer?