A wonder misdeed

Time passes soon when we are normally in favoring and healthy situation. Everything seems so pleasant and so nice when things moves in direction we wanted. Time happen to be a precious and a wonderful medicine which heals up all the wounds but sometime it becomes so difficult to pass fractions of seconds when we loose out our beloved one while walking together. In walk of life there builds many relations in which few or blood related and few takes its own shape while walking on the path of life being together. Sometime we become so possessive about few dearest thing, commodity or person for which we give more importance than anything in life and assume that without that we can not walk for a single step. The case becomes graver for the man who never got as what he wanted to have since his childhood. The simple pat at back or simple support at his failure, combing fingers at his hairs, a very small appreciation from some one at his little achievement these are small things but it not only helps a lot in building a strong will power a positive attitudes in growing kids but also inherits the kid to feel secure and have more self confidence.
The lack of these above mentioned treasure in my childhood made me more needy more demanding for the love and affection in my life partner which I think was more complicated herculious job for my life partner. It was amazing feeling for me to have someone only for me. Life became more pleasant and more fast, everything became so comfortable even though we passed through some crucial periods of life. As time passes I found that its only one sided need and one sided feeling as what I am having. I knew the fact that only with love and affection life can not be passed and we have to think for future and do something for our kids and for their well being. I was in view of giving value of money as one necessity among many others variables whereas my partner valued it as only one mean to survive. The thinner line drawn with this feeling got wider and wider with pass of time and both wheel of life started moving with different speed and in that my part became a fulcrum which has to act accordance to the varying speed of other wheel, the life became so mechanical and in reverse that I have to move in opposite to other part to compensate the balanced speed. Life started running in circular path instead of straight line and I became the inner wheel which has to adjust its speed in accordance to the speed of outer one. The situation made me to feel alone once more where I could not find any one standing by side of me and the feeling of introvert started puling me down. I started making friendship with physical commodities i.e. books, playing music instruments and computers but that love affair with these commodities were not in so strong bond where I can feel to lost my self and thus emerged the need of search of a human friend. This need is natural and in line to the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I started searching friends at different social networks and every where I could find that mostly people are not interested in talking to one who is married and living with wife specially in Indian people groups. They need rigorous verification of needs for friendship and still there won’t emerges the seed of believe and faith. The feeling of getting a friend at net got diminishing. In mean while suddenly one day I got someone who was different from others, I felt something strange and wonder in her and I started taking her one of the best I ever can get. The past experiences were knocking my thoughts time and again about loosing this special friend and the fear of loosing got so strong dominance which made me to tell lie about few variables which may become reason for loosing my friend, still I did not wanted to hurt her feelings and emotions. I knew as it is wrong way to find a friend and build a precious relationship of friendship which ultimately will lead to broken friendship but my need of friendship was so dominating that killed my conscious of thinking write and wrong and I made a blunder by hurting one of ever known best human on this earth I can find.
This episode was hardest ever I meet in my life but still I feel it made me stronger to be realistic and optimistic about my concept of life. I know I did a blunder which don’t comes in scope of excuse from any one but still I believe I won’t loose my friend because now she knows each and everything about me and she will understand that I lost my shadow of misconception and that’s because she is different from all ever I know.